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Newton’s Cradle
By The Impulsive Downloader | September 23, 2008
A Newton’s Cradle demonstrates the conservation of momentum and energy and are usually found on the cherry wood desks of hoity-toity male business executives who drive around in Porsche convertibles, wipe their asses with twenty dollar bills, have affairs with their secretaries, and look down on those who aren’t worth more than ten million dollars. For those douchebag executives, having a Newton’s Cradle is handy because it’s just another way to show that they have extreme amounts of disposable wealth and the rocking back and forth of the metal balls can help pace their thrusting while boinking their administrative assistant.
Thankfully, the App Store now allows the common person to have their own Newton’s Cradle, except in virtual form and without the douchebag-ish-ness. This Newton’s Cradle consists of five metal balls suspended in the air by five of the most lazy-assed rendered cables EVER. Actually, I take that back. They aren’t really cables at all, they’re more like thin white lines that Lindsay Lohan might try to snort off of your iPhone screen. Besides the lazy-assed rendered cables, the light reflections on each ball remained static, even while swinging.
Touching a ball on one of the ends, dragging it back, and letting it go will start the momentum and kinetic energy see-saw. The balls hitting each other make a somewhat soothing, rhythmic clacking sound similar to those made when two marbles collide, although after about an hour, the sound will probably drive you bat shit insane. This goes on until the momentum and kinetic energy run out, which is usually about a minute, if you leave your iPhone on the table. You can throw everything off by picking up your iPhone and tilting it to the left or right, which causes the pendulum to swing violently and allows you to give Sir Isaac Newton a huge middle finger salute.
The Newton’s Cradle app is a neat concept to show off the abilities of the iPhone/iPod Touch’s touch screen and accelerometer, but a little more effort could’ve been used to not make it look so cheap, with its half-assed cables and static reflections. I know it’s a free app and I can’t expect everything to be awesome, but I believe if you’re going to be a one-trick pony, you should at least do that one trick really well.
Item: Newton’s Cradle
Company: Enabled Solutions
Version: 1.0
Category: Entertainment
Price: FREE
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: It’s free. Clacking sound is soothing. Having a virtual version of something douchebag executives have. Nicely shows off the iPhone/iPod Touch’s touchscreen and accelerometer.
Cons: Half-assed cables and static reflections make it look cheap. Not really useful. Going bat shit insane after listening to the clacking of balls for an hour. Lindsay Lohan trying to snort off the virtual white lines on an iPhone screen.
Filed Under: 5 Rating, Entertainment | | Comments Off
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